The Fall semester has begun and I am thrilled to be working on my degree some more and learning new things, but I am an online student, so it’s not like a traditional classroom where we all walk into the room with our projects and put them up on the wall to share with everyone. That was something I had no problem doing in my undergraduate studies. I actually liked seeing what everyone did and if my stuff was up to standards. I enjoyed seeing all the artwork displayed all at once and one could zoom back and forth between various pieces and see how different artists handled the assignment. I miss that.
So with my online art class the projects are posted by a due date, which of course could be sooner than later. And I like to get my work done right away, so I can start any reading or preparing for other projects. But not everyone posts at the same time and this week is nearly over and no one has posted any of the painting homework assignments. And I was the first person to post the written assignment, which I am not so worried about. But there is something about the posting of the artwork that brings about feelings of doubt and concern, which would happen during normal critique presentations, but with the online system, it is prolonged. One wonders did they post the homework too soon? Will others think you rushed through the project and did not care? If you say you had problems with the assignment will the teacher lower your grade just because you admitted that? At times I find it to be a bit of an emotional drama that’s really not needed. I should be focused on doing the best I can and following the instructions of the assignment.
Sometimes I feel brave enough to simply post the homework first, but this is the first time I have ever taken a serious painting class that is truly geared to teach me how to paint and test my abilities. (Basically, I am a self taught painter that managed to get into grad school. My undergraduate art courses were mostly drawing .) This is combined with the fact that the course is taught mainly from an oil painter’s perspective and I am an acrylic painter. The two types of mediums work differently when put to canvas or board and have different drying times and so forth. So I am already walking into the “room” with unsure feelings about my artistic ability and an immense desire to succeed and earn good grades.
So that’s why I hate posting my homework first. Perhaps next time I should write the psychological effects of being an online student. 🙂