I’m a bad ass!

Dang. I just made an interesting realization. I must be a super bad ass mother fucker. I don’t take drugs to solve my problems.   I face them and endure them with the intent to conquer them.   And yes, I know what real pain is, ask anyone who has had migraine headaches, TMJ, heart pain, thoughts of suicide, and an allergic reaction to bleached flour that is akin to celiac disease.  Can’t take opium based pain killers because of this. No doctor told me, I had to figure it out on my own.  I also have a huge slew of allergies including being allergic to the actual allergy medicine that works.
So I am not running out to take a load of drugs or crying endlessly.  And apparently this is odd.
So I am starting to understand why I don’t understand anyone, they are all layering themselves in pills and drugs. My own best friend was giving this horrible crap called Ambien that made him act weird and nearly destroyed his health and life. And me, being the bad ass that I am, didn’t understand what was wrong with him. This stuff was making  him seriously ill.  He could have died and all because he could not sleep and some doctor prescribed this for him.  Me,  I go out and get fresh air and do physical stuff to help me sleep or I read before I go to bed.
And no, I am not some weird religious nut – so stop in your tracks right there. I have been judged that way before by druggies.  I am a person of intense strong will power and because I am this way people treat me differently because I don’t want to join them in their desire of covering up their life experiences with alcohol or drugs.   So where does that leave me?   Apparently alone as the people in this country get prescribed and self prescribe more and more drugs to cover up the life experience. So I am starting to wonder why anyone is bothering with life as being a solid being when they don’t want to be fully aware?  I am becoming concerned about the lack of careful thought concerning the use of cannabis or hemp.  It should have never been made illegal in the first place but during that time, people were more grown up in this country and took responsibility for their actions.  It was made illegal because of Randolph Hearst’s desire to corner the lumber and paper making market not because of drug use.
By this time,  I am sure some “know it all” is currently diagnosing me as having some kind of politically correct illness and will suggest some kind of drug to “help” me with my “issue”.  But why?   I am happy experiencing the full force of life’s up and downs. People feel sad, get mad, feel love, exhilaration, grief, joy, and the list goes on. Why cover up the feeling just because it is unpleasant? It is normal and natural to feel sad during bad times. It’s the warning system that lets you know that something is wrong.  For example, I cried and felt bad all day when Carrie Fisher died, but I don’t need to cover up those feelings with drugs.  Her lose meant something to me and it is normal and natural to have these feelings.  Covering them up with medication will only result in problems down the road because the situation wasn’t being faced.
I currently have an in-law that has been emotionally abusing her son.  She doesn’t see it.  She doesn’t acknowledge that her actions are hurtful.  She is also on a large quantity of prescription drugs, one of which is something called wellbutrin, which doesn’t make a person well.  She is also taking lots of other stuff that I just don’t stick my nose into.  It’s not my business.  She pretends to like me because I am married to her son.  And she is another individual that I don’t understand.  The things she does do not make sense to me.  She has two housekeepers and complains about their work and the cost but won’t fire them.  She won’t clean up the house herself either.  To make matters worse, she is a therapist, and in my estimation should really know better than to do the emotionally hurtful things that she does.  For the past 20 years, my husband and I have been making excuses for her behavior as loving family members…oh it’s menopause….oh it’s her medication….oh she’s lonely…  I am tired of making excuses for her strange and hurtful behavior.
So when I see people covering over the realities of life with pills, alcohol, an now legalized pot, I can’t help but wonder what people are going to be like in the next 20 years.  Will I understand idiocracy_movie_posteror relate to any of them?  Will they all just be a bunch of weird zombies?  What will happen to all the technical stuff?  I can’t fix trucks, or repair bridges, or do surgery.  I am just a regular person.  I am starting to feel like the guy in Idiocracy.  This really concerns me.  I am truly concerned for the well being of the current and  future generations of this country.  If the older generation is wacked out on pain meds or pot, then how do the younger ones get advice or help in times of trouble?  And if the younger generations are emulating the older ones doing the drugs, then will they know or even realize when the shit has hit the fan?
G. Winkler © 2017

Gretchen Winkler is a Writer, Artist, Radio Show Co-Host on User Friendly 2.0, Cosplayer/Designer, and ordered Knight. She is currently working on several Star Wars novel projects and does editing and proof reading for Bill Sikkens & KPAM the Answer Portland radio. For the past 20 years she has authored several informational websites, started several technical companies, and has been an avid student of art, literature, history, technology.

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Posted in Mental Health

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